Hollywood’s fatal attraction
I went to a movie theater last week.
Each of the multiple coming attractions specialized in killing, stabbing, choking, shooting, bombing, knifing, fighting, hanging, explosions and bloodthirsty hate.
It’s enough troubles with our city: migrants, crime, taxes, roaches, shoplifting, subways, progressives — plus DC’s thieves — and now America’s major proponent of terror and crime is Hollywood? Forget “R” ratings. We need “H” ratings for horror.
Sept. 18 brings Sean Penn’s “heart-wrenching” doc “Superpower.”
Rockets launching into Kyiv. Explosions. Europe’s bloodiest invasion since World War II. Broken veterans, widows, homes, families destroyed, women as snipers, kids defending their land, soldiers putting lives on the line.
Enough already.
What’s more American than bringing your children to a movie?!
What ever happened to motion picture czars. Isn’t anyone watching?
Box office bomb?
Liam Neeson is driving around Berlin. With two kids. And bombs under their seats that go “boom” if they exit the vehicle. Better they should not have to pee. The film “Retribution” opens this week.
Liam: “My advice? Take time to smell the roses. Just sit back and enjoy the themes of money and greed.”
Great idea. Always relaxing to be in a car with a bomb under your behind.
Punchy lines
Mike Tyson: “I don’t need to be remembered. As long as my kids remember me, I’d rather be forgotten by everybody else.”
B’way birdie
Ken Davenport, who’s behind “A Beautiful Noise: The Neil Diamond Musical,” also likes making hits on the golf course.
He just hosted a “Broadway into the Woods” tournament. Its kingmaker was Richard Kind, who got a hole-in-two.
Watch out!
Forget subway fare increase.
A Timex that once cost $31.99 like a Mickey Mouse watch is now — ready??! — $1,000!
Something called a Timex Giorgio Galli S2 Automatic — (whateverthehell that is) is $975. Plus tax.
Black dial. Titanium case. Winds when you shake it. Forget the wrist, time’s come to stick this thing youknowwhere.
Craft services
Back to days of yore. When Marlon Brando couldn’t remember lines in “Last Tango in Paris” he scratched them on his shoe then limped through one scene so he wouldn’t erase his script . . . Elizabeth Taylor allegedly powdered the inside of her mouth so her throat looked prettier in closeups . . . Dennis Hopper thought credits for his “Easy Rider” looked better if shown upside down . . . In “Holy Smoke!” Kate Winslet’s action was to pee on herself. Hooking a wire device onto her, the prop person flipped a switch and a bag of saline solution tinkled out.
A lady saw a Greenwich Village producer’s latest film and pronounced it “Dreadful.” Said the producer: “I only produce what I see.” And the woman replied: “You shouldn’t work when you’re in that condition.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
This story originally appeared on NYPost
