A nurse has given advice to men who say their penis size is affecting their relationships (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
The age-old quest to determine the ‘perfect penis size’ continues to spark heated discussions, especially when it comes to its impact on relationships.
It appears that for many, penis size is a significant enough issue to warrant ending a relationship, leading to anxiety among many men.
Thousands of anonymous Reddit users have shared their experiences and sought advice about breaking up with partners over this intimate issue. According to numerous threads, having an excessively large penis often constitutes a dealbreaker.
One particularly notable Reddit discussion garnered 30,000 upvotes and a staggering 15,000 comments, with the question asked: “Have you ever broken up with a man because of his penis? If so, why?” Various responses highlighted issues with a partner’s ‘mega penis,’ citing factors such as uniform sexual pace and painful intercourse as reasons for a break up. And it’s not just women seeking guidance; men too have voiced their concerns through subreddits like r/AskMen.
One query asked: “Men of Reddit, has the size (too big or not big enough) of your d**k ever been the reason for an ended relationship? What happened and how did you feel?”
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Responses varied, with some men discussing the emotional toll of being left due to their penis size, which in some cases even caused bleeding during sex. Furthermore, there exists a community where men discuss the complexities and self-esteem challenges associated with possessing a larger-than-average penis.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, Lorraine Grover, a Psychosexual Nurse Specialist at Oxford Online Pharmacy, has cast a spotlight on the deep psychological impact that rejection over penis size can have on men, including their sexual confidence and mental wellbeing.
Lorraine revealed: “Breakups are one of the leading causes of confidence issues in both men or women, as people are often left questioning their worth and desirability and pondering unanswered questions surrounding the root cause of their relationship ending.”
Shedding light on candid internet confessions, she noted: “It’s interesting to see so many people being so candid online – albeit anonymously – about how they have broken up someone/been broken up with due to penis size.”
Lorraine underscored the emotional toll of breakups rooted in such personal matters, adding: “This can be incredibly damaging for the person who is broken up with and their future erectile function, as it triggers feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and stress – all of which can impact future relationships and lead to erectile dysfunction (ED).”
She also highlighted that past experiences might intensify fears of being rejected again, adding: “There is also a possibility that this could further exacerbate fear of rejection from future sexual partners or relationships. It’s important to remember that confidence is not just about size – it’s about self-acceptance, communication and what makes intimacy fulfilling beyond penetration.”
To help those struggling to rebuild sexual confidence post-breakup, Lorraine offered practical advice and reassurance.
Move the focus from size to satisfaction
Grover emphasises the need to move away from an obsession with size and rather cultivate a focus on satisfaction in sexual encounters. “Too often, society focuses on size rather than satisfaction when it comes to sexual compatibility,” she observed.
She also urged a shift towards valuing communication, technique, and emotional connection.
Grover advises open dialogue and education on pleasurable techniques with new partners. “Moving into new sexual relationships, try and be open and honest with new sexual partners, and educate yourself and them on techniques which can make the experience more pleasurable,” she said.
She suggests exploring different sexual positions, the use of lubrication, and varying tempo. “For example, learning different positions, using lubrication and adjusting pace can improve comfort and pleasure for both parties,” she added.
Try not to engage in negative self-talk
Lorraine tackles the detrimental effects of negative self-perception linked to genital size. She insists that it’s “crucial” for people to not measure their self-worth by the dimensions of their genitals.
“True confidence comes from self-acceptance and understanding that intimacy is more than just penetration,” she contends.
Lorraine recommends practising positive affirmations and delving into what makes one an exceptional companion beyond physical attributes. “Focus on what makes you a great partner – in and out of the bedroom,” she said. “Reframing your thoughts and shifting focus from size to connection can help to rebuild confidence.”
Explore non-penetrative pleasure
Exploring alternative forms of sexual pleasure is advocated by Lorraine, especially for those fixated on penetrative sex. She reminds everyone that sex encompasses much more than just penetration, as she mentions that “outercourse can be fun”.
Furthermore, she encourages indulgence in foreplay, oral practices, and mutual stimulation methods as means of heightening intimacy without the reliance on penetration. “Foreplay, oral sex, and mutual pleasure techniques can strengthen intimacy without the pressure.” she said.
For those specifically concerned about having a larger-than-average penis, Lorraine suggests putting greater emphasis on foreplay to relieve the focus on penetration and ensure both partners are fully aroused.
“For example, if you’re working with a larger-than-average penis size, try focusing on foreplay to take the pressure off penetrative sex and ensure maximum arousal,” she said.
“With a better understanding of pleasure, this should help to relieve any performance anxiety and make sex enjoyable for both partners.”
Build confidence outside of the bedroom
Lorraine suggested in more activities that boost your self-esteem, such as fitness, socialising or learning new skills – which will undoubtedly have a ripple effect on self-perception and romantic relationships.”
Seek support from a professional
If issues with anxiety, self-esteem or erectile dysfunction persist, it’s recommended to seek professional support.
The nurse stated: “They can help you address any underlying fears, reframe negative thoughts and equip you with the strategies to overcome performance anxiety.”
What is the average penis size in the UK?
According to Men’s Health, the average penis size in the UK is 13.13cm (5.17in), a size deemed “average” compared to the world’s population of men.
This story originally appeared on Express.co.uk
