When author Michael Crichton published Jurassic Park in 1990, he never imagined his book would spawn one of Hollywood’s biggest franchises as well as numerous knockoffs. The dinosaur invasion on screen began when Steven Spielberg acquired the rights to the critically acclaimed novel for $1.5 million. The famous director opted to keep Crichton as the screenwriter for his adaptation, and the results were marvelous. The 1993 film grossed $1.1 billion and won numerous awards, including three Oscars.
Jurassic Park was followed by six sequels, the latest of which is Jurassic World Rebirth, starring Scarlett Johansson. Even though most of the follow-ups have been received well by critics, fans have had mixed reactions about them, with many arguing that nothing is as good as the original Spielberg film. Indeed, nothing is as good as Spielberg’s 1993 hit, but some knock-offs come close. The B-movies are as ridiculous as Hollywood productions get, but they are wildly entertaining, so spare some time for them.
10
‘Triassic World’ (2018)
The mad scientists are truly mad in Triassic World. They are secretly breeding dinosaurs and harvesting their organs for human transplants. Who knew a dino-kidney could fit into a baby? Predictably, a procedure goes wrong, causing the creatures to escape containment. Now, Dr. Martin (Shellie Sterling) and her team must fight for their lives.
Chaotic World
Triassic World‘s impeccable lighting and tropical-like visual style have no equal in the direct-to-video space. Everything looks stunning. Though the sentence “not for all tastes” should be emboldened for this gory, often disturbing NC-17 B-feature, for those who are game, the film really delivers. There isn’t much background information about the characters, but audiences are unlikely to care, given the amount of running and screaming going on.
9
‘Bikini Girls vs Dinosaurs’ (2014)
In Bikini Girls vs Dinosaurs, three bikini-clad space fighter pilot princesses initially enjoy a Baywatch-style lifestyle until their evil stepmother banishes them to the prehistoric past. After getting transported through a black hole, they are forced to battle dinosaurs while trying to find a way to return to the future.
Freeze and Shine
You’ll spend most of your tour time laughing at the girls rather than worrying about them. The film rarely takes itself seriously, lodging itself firmly in the so-bad-its-good category. And why didn’t anyone ever inform us that dinosaurs love cheese? Spoiler! The three girls survive to the end, and they do it by relying on ingenuity over violence. After all, the movie constantly underscores the fact that dinosaurs aren’t the villains, and that animals ought not to be harmed.
8
‘The VelociPastor’ (2017)
After watching his parents die in a car fire, Doug Jones (Greg Cohan), a priest, travels to China on a spiritual journey. There, a strange artifact wounds him, giving him the power to transform into a Velociraptor dinosaur. Initially distraught, Doug finds new purpose when a prostitute encourages him to use his new ability to eradicate evil. The two thus team up, fighting ninjas, miscreants, and the malicious Master Wei Chan (Jesse Turits). How much progress will Doug make in The VelociPastor?
Ninjas Have No Chance
The VelociPastor’s behind-the-scenes tales are as ridiculous as the movie itself. Director Brendan Steere came up with the idea in film school after his phone autocorrected “Velociraptor” to “Veloci Pastor.” The cast mostly consists of unknown actors, but each of them shines. With a running time of 76 minutes, the film is also precise, ironically never wasting any time in preachy plots. Audiences will root for the ”Dinosaurman” all the way, and they won’t be disappointed. Good news? A sequel is on the way.
7
‘The Jurassic Games’ (2018)
Death-row inmates always have it rough in movies, and The Jurassic Games maintains the trend. Here, 10 inmates are compelled to participate in a virtual reality game where they must face off against deadly dinosaurs. The last man standing gets to walk free. But will anyone survive this, given the manifold frailties plaguing each of them?
Worse Than a Jail Cell
Those who’ve watched movies like Death Race and The Condemned will be particularly moved by the fight-to-the-death plot that plays out here. But even though you’ll feel like you’ve seen it all before, director Ryan Bellgardt sidesteps familiarity from time to time, including some film-exclusive scenarios to shock us. A sub-plot concerning one weak character’s over-reliance on a stronger one is especially heartrending, as is the nasty, unbridgeable divide that emerges between inmates who believed they were buddies. Things get brutal here, so turn off your squeamish side.
6
‘The Eden Formula’ (2006)
In Calgorin Industries, greedy scientists secretly create and hide a Tyrannosaurus rex using a formula that the company’s golden boy, Dr. Harrison Parker (Jeff Fahey), produced to cure various ailments. When corporate spies, led by James Radcliffe (Tony Todd), try to steal the formula, they accidentally release the rex, causing a rampage in The Eden Formula.
Misuse of Science
This disarming Die Hard and Jurassic Park cocktail clicks because it has the courage and nerve to portray its characters’ silliness without the usual overload of theoretical justification. Everyone wants what they want, and what remains is to try and survive while cleaning up the mess. As always, Todd does a magnificent job as a villain while Jeff Hafey (best known for his role as Captain Frank Lapidus in Lost) shines by dishing out a hundred curses per minute, like “They ruined my formula!” We feel you, Dr. Parker.
5
‘Jurassic Attack’ (2013)
Jurassic Attack (also known as Rise of the Dinosaurs) sees a military rescue team go to a hostile jungle to rescue a kidnapped scientist. Once there, the operatives discover that the area is full of prehistoric predators created from secret experiments. Soon, they are in a fight for their lives against pterosaurs, raptors, and a T. rex.
Wrong Place at the Right Time
Doubling as a Predator and Jurassic Park ripoff, Jurassic Attack keeps the action coming, ensuring audiences never blink. It’s all there… the rustling of leaves, the look of worry on the faces of the protagonists, and the jump scares. Corin Nemec is magnetic, and fellow cast members make compelling tough dudes-turned-victims. Nemec would go on to cement his stardom in the incomparable Lake Placid Vs. Anaconda
4
‘Dinosaur Island’ (1994)
Good luck or bad luck? After a rough, harrowing, but casualty-less landing on an island, a motley squad of close-knit battle-weary servicemen find themselves on an island crawling with dinosaurs. On the brighter side, the place is also home to scantily clad women who’ve lived alongside the creatures for years. The ladies believe these are the men destined to help them defeat the dinosaurs. Not wanting to disappoint them, the soldiers get into action. But as the dangerous mission progresses, they begin to question the rationale. Will they turn Dinosaur Island into a proper paradise?
The Help They Needed
Director Jim Wynorski revealed that Roger Corman asked him to make the film shortly after Jurassic Park, confirming a clear intention to rip off Spielberg’s picture. Was it worth it? Absolutely! Blending playful eroticism and B-movie monster clichés, Dinosaur Island has enough goodies to impress even the most skeptical viewer. The film’s true achievement, apart from its visual effects, is its charged plot and debate over the coexistence between mankind and animals. Aided by a first-rate cast, it honors the unexpected sacrifices that are always made by military personnel, while also making us all miss one Diana Prince.
3
‘Jurassic Galaxy’ (2018)
A familiar pattern plays out in Jurassic Galaxy, except in space. A spacecraft crash-lands on a mysterious planet, pitting the survivors — led by Captain Cooper (Ryan Budds) — against dinosaurs. With limited ammo, dwindling supplies, and no signs of rescue, the protagonists must do everything to survive while uncovering the planet’s secrets.
Dinosaurs in Space
A virtuosic, layered, and hard-hitting sci-fi film by the directing duo of James Kondelik and Jon Kondelik, Jurassic Galaxy closes with a penetratingly violent battle sequence that many will agree is one of the most immersive captures ever committed to celluloid. There are traces of Ridley Scott’s Alien here, too, but most of the wiring resembles that of the Jurassic franchise, with the characters throwing out complex prehistoric names like we know them already.
2
‘Dinoshark’ (2010)
Produced by Roger Corman for the Syfy Channel, Dinoshark opens with a baby pliosaur swimming away after an Arctic glacier that calves due to global warming. Years later, it emerges as a ruthless predatory adult, terrorizing tourists and locals on the coast of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. After his friend gets eaten, Trace (Eric Balfour) decides to take action.
Comeuppance to Humans for Causing Global Warming
One of the B-movie master’s last production efforts has all the hallmarks and themes fans know from his better-known works: naïve, disillusioned characters, the happy-melancholy seesaw of human existence, and seemingly ordinary settings about to be permeated by angst and chaos. Unsurprisingly, critics savaged the movie, reacting strongly to its dour character dynamics, but Jurassic fans will see it as a major achievement. Suspension of belief is required, but nothing will anger you.
1
‘Raptor’ (2001)
A series of strange, vicious animal attacks in Raptor forces Sheriff Jim Tanner (Eric Roberts) to look into the activities of Dr. Hyde (Corbin Bernsen), a former genius military researcher whose federal funding for a dinosaur cloning project was cut. It emerges that Hyde obtained foreign backing to continue the deadly experiments, so dinosaurs are now roaming the streets. Bemused, the Pentagon sends a strike team to aid Tanner and stop Hyde and his creatures.
Time for the Big Guns
Raptor reignited the career of writer-director Jim Wyrnoski, who spent the ‘90s doing erotic thrillers and also kept Eric Roberts on the path of stardom. Melissa Brasselle (who has starred in a whopping 19 Wyrnoski films) also delivers the goods in the picture, and it’s always great to watch Frank Novak. The film reuses dinosaur footage from the Roger Corman-produced Carnosaur films, which are often mistaken for Jurassic Park rip-offs but are adaptations of the 1984 novel by John Brosnan.
This story originally appeared on Movieweb
