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In the trial yesterday, DJ Akademiks shared the first snippet for Cardi B‘s civil case. The video shows Cardi B taking her oath and being questioned. Hearing only the questions and not seeing Cardi, I imagined she was many miles away, lying on a beach somewhere tropical and answering from a distance. Cardi moving on from blonde was the first query, and Cardi kept it simple: “They’re wigs.”
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After Cardi’s blonde wigs were clarified, the case took a turn toward her fingernails. Trying to correct the sketch of her nails being mysterious in length, the court tried to pin it down. Initially, half an inch was the ballot, then swung wildly to one inch to an inch. To a dimension that I’m sure no one can picture, Cardi, stone-calm, narrated “less than an inch,” to which the lawyer air-checked. “Really less than an inch?” He jumped to “pointy or round?” which was logical because of the reality of nails. Cardi sweated no judgment and declared them “fake nails”.
The crescendo to this case? The lawyer asked how long it would take her to change just three of them right now. As always, Cardi B, the professional, educated the court on the difference between glued-on tips (quicker) and acrylics (‘two-hour melt-off’ kind of situation). And the reason why all of this still counts as surreal for me is because it took place in a courtroom. On record. For a case. Like I said, surreal.
As expected, social media exploded with reactions to Cardi’s court appearance. The comments on the post were a cocktail of visible confusion, love, and funny reactions. “Tf that question got to do with the case😂 nigga just thought she was cute,” one user remarked, capturing the classic chaos of the internet. The shock wasn’t just general; people were amazed at the legal genius behind fake nail measurement.
Along different lines, another user tried to make sense of the letter of the law, “It’s because she probably scratched that lady with her nails.” Well, yeah… that actually makes some sense? Probably, there is some sort of case involving an altercation in which one party used nails as a weapon. If so, the logic behind the questioning isn’t complete nonsense.
The unrelated nonsense didn’t shift Cardi’s composure. People got a chance to savor Cardi’s calming tone paired with the standard lukewarm honesty that she always uses to deal with crazy people. “‘Lol her energy 1000 😍’” one social media user stated. Another appreciated the ‘Acrylically on’ phrase and marked, “Makes me happy. Love her.” The insanely regular nonsense, Cardi faced it with genuine vibes to which the onlooking public connected.
Opposite to that view, one person on the thread tried to explain the mosaic of questions in the court when they wrote, “The random questions cus she responded naturally but ask her a trick question her mood changes I think there just trying to see if they can detect her lying.” The follow-up was “definitely trying to make her comfortable – strategy,” which means the strange questions could be part of psychological warfare; very weird form psychological warfare where she has to change the timeline of her imaginary nail change.
The comment that floored everyone was a comment no one saw coming. While no one expects people to say certain things, people say some crazy stuff. A user pointed out something in the audio and stated, “If you close your eyes and listen you hear Riley from the boondocks on the stand.” And yep, the user was correct. The elevated tone was very blunt and was close enough to one of the most known characters from the cartoon. The replies to the comment were equally entertaining as one person said, “yeoo I said the same thing years ago,” which essentially means Cardi has always been Riley.
While everything was going crazy, Cardi kept her presence and vibes. People kept repeating the same thing, “I just love her 😂” and “I love her 😍 lol.” It Cardi B who keeps turning a legal deposition into comedic shows, and it is truly rare. She is simply herself, and fortunate for us, her ‘self’ is a comedian who knows how to handle pressure.
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The spectacle raises a lot of questions. What is the case all about? Why is there so much fuss over the nails? Was the lawyer out on a wager? Maybe not. What is undoubted is that Cardi B’s deposition is one of the most hilarious depositions testimonies. Cardi shows the rest of the world how to stay calm and cool when asked to physically measure your glued-on nails in the same court. Only Cardi can make this possible.
This story originally appeared on Celebrityinsider
