How to Know What Your Boss Really Thinks About You

Exactly 25 years ago, the movie What Women Want starring Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt was released. After being electrocuted by a hairdryer in his bathtub, Gibson’s character suddenly possesses an exceptionally bizarre talent: He can literally hear the private and unedited thoughts of every woman he encounters. Gibson uses his newfound abilities to progress his career and win business deals.

How useful would it be if all of us could hear the unheard thoughts of our boss, especially the ones about us? While these skills don’t exist, there are a series of ways to know what your boss really thinks of you, even if you’re not a mind reader. If you want to know where you stand with your boss, here’s what to consider.

1. What does your boss talk about with you?

What your boss spends time speaking with you about says everything. If your boss talks with you about your future goals or your current growth, not just as an employee but as a human, that’s a great sign. If your boss is actively engaged in your development, it’s likely that they think you’re capable of doing more and can contribute at higher levels. If your boss encourages you to pursue educational opportunities, get additional certifications or attend conferences or workshops, that means they want you to continue becoming stronger so you’re ready for more. If your boss asks you about your dreams or long-term plans, it means they’re interested in where you’d like to end up and how you’re going to get there.

When your boss only speaks with you about their goals or your task list, it’s likely a sign that they don’t care much or aren’t interested in you as a person, only what you can do for them. Bosses like this should be avoided, since they tend to stunt the growth and improvement of those around them.

Related: The 5 Worst Leadership Qualities: How Many Does Your Boss Have?

2. How much does your boss ask for your opinion?

If your boss engages in dialogues with you, instead of just monologues, that’s a great sign. When a boss regularly asks for a direct report’s opinion, it’s a sign they respect and trust that person. When a boss thinks highly of someone, they frequently ask for that person’s input or ideas on various projects or possible courses of action. That’s because they know the individual is sharp, smart and has something worthwhile to contribute. They see that person as a key contributor, not just someone to be “managed.”

If your boss never asks about your thoughts or feelings, it’s likely that they believe they have all the best answers and have little to learn from you. Bosses who value their employees don’t just bark orders or issue instructions. They curiously ask questions to learn. If the only questions you’re asked about are administrative (for example, about your timecard), it’s likely a sign that your boss is more interested in the hours you work rather than the job that you do.

3. Does your boss give you challenging work or new opportunities?

Does your boss ask you to take the lead on new or exciting opportunities? Does your boss ask you to do more complex or challenging things than what you’ve been doing? If so, your boss is probably interested in grooming you for the future, rather than being focused on maintaining the status quo. Bosses who see their people as highly capable of more will find opportunities to stretch them. If your boss isn’t doing this, it’s an indication that they don’t care if you stay in the same role for the foreseeable future, perhaps even years. Bosses who care about, believe in and trust their employees will always find opportunities to empower them. Bosses who don’t, won’t.

4. What happens when you make a mistake?

If your boss completely loses it when something goes wrong or is quick to show anger and frustration, it’s a sign that your boss expects you to be perfect and is highly concerned with how you both look to others. Bosses who see their people as long-term players and know their people are also human allow for a certain degree of missteps or failed experiments. Bosses who berate and criticize every small error or mistake don’t tend to value creativity, innovation and experimentation for the sake of learning. They’d rather hire people who follow suit and do things the way they’ve always been done rather than push the envelope and find new paths. Since erring is a normal part of the human condition, bosses who don’t allow for this are extremely difficult to work for.

5. How much say do you get?

Bosses who see their people as future colleagues or peers of themselves extend a considerable amount of latitude in how the work gets done. If your boss doesn’t let you make any of your own decisions and constantly wants you to ask for permission, it’s likely that they see you as inferior or beneath them. If your boss tells you not to ask permission or get their approval for every decision, it’s a sign that your boss sees you as a future version of themselves, an equal and they trust you. Great bosses allow their best people choices in how they lead or do their work.

Related: I Was the Toxic Boss I Swore I’d Never Be — Here are 4 Confessions from My Leadership Recovery

6. How much recognition do you get?

If you can’t remember the last time your boss made time to give you a specific compliment on a job well done, that’s another bad sign. When bosses notice their people doing a stellar job, they acknowledge it. If your boss hasn’t recently told you they value and appreciate you, it’s probably because they don’t.

Looking for these six things in your interactions with your boss will tell you everything about how they see you and how likely it is that you’ll flourish and grow underneath them. If you can’t answer these questions in a positive way, it’s probably time you either directly ask your boss where you stand or find a new boss.