Why High Achievers Are Turning to Online Therapy for Balance

Do you rarely feel satisfied with your efforts until they are as close to perfection as possible? Do others frequently admire your self-discipline and goal-achieving abilities? If so, you may be a high achiever. People who are high achievers also tend to be perfectionists in most areas of life. They hold themselves to a high standard and strive to achieve excellence with every goal they chase and every project they tackle.

High achievers have many wonderful traits and often go on to be highly successful professionals. However, many of them ironically struggle with low self-esteem. They tend to judge themselves harshly for every minor setback and can end up feeling like failures despite everything they accomplish. If you’re a high achiever or know someone who is, you already know how mentally taxing it can be to tirelessly strive for flawlessness. Here’s what to know about perfectionism and why high achievers are turning to online therapy for balance and clarity in their lives.

What Drives the Need for Perfection?

Everyone is different. Therefore, what drives one person to succeed may not motivate other overachievers. Highly driven people are often influenced by a combination of the following:

• Personality Traits: High achievers often have a strong work ethic, strict attention to detail, and strong competitiveness. They may also be self-critical and demanding of themselves or others.
• Genetic Factors: Genetic influences can play a key role in the development of a perfectionist mindset.  
• Environmental Factors: High achievers are often shaped by their environment. For example, rigorous examinations in school and reward systems that publicly compensate only the top performers can push young people to chase perfection. Indeed, students may feel like failures if they don’t reach that elusive tier of peak performance.

Outsiders often admire perfectionists and may even feel envious of their achievements. However, what’s less obvious to the casual observer is the self-inflicted turmoil many high achievers experience from day to day. They often become angry with themselves when they fail to achieve their own expectations. Their fear of failure can at times be an internal cry for external validation. That’s why virtual therapy is so important for people who hold themselves to a standard that’s too high to realistically maintain.

How Online Therapy Can Help High Achievers Find Balance

Online therapy can be a safe haven for high achievers to understand themselves better and learn what motivates them. It can also teach them how to achieve a healthier work-life balance so they don’t feel overwhelmed all the time. For perfectionists who struggle with low self-esteem, therapy can be particularly beneficial and enlightening.

Virtual therapy is a better option for many people than in-person therapy because it’s more flexible. There’s no need to drive to a therapist’s office or worry about running into a neighbor or acquaintance in the waiting room. Online therapy offers privacy and convenience that’s appealing to people from all walks of life. Here are some of the ways it can also help high achievers find balance.  

Reinforcing Self-Worth

A good therapist can help high achievers learn how to love themselves for who they are, not what they’ve achieved. They can foster better self-awareness and help their patients understand that their worth isn’t tied to their net worth or their ability to perform perfectly.

Therapists may use different methods to help perfectionists overcome the effects of negative self-talk and unrealistic expectations. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is a popular treatment for this scenario. It helps patients process experiences or beliefs that fuel their compulsive behaviors. This and other treatments can help patients know their intrinsic worth instead of always feeling like they have to prove it.

Teaching Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Many highly driven people are prone to anxiety because they’re constantly afraid of failing. This can lead to increasing feelings of self-doubt and exhaustion. An online therapist can teach healthy coping mechanisms for managing perfectionism and anxiety. They may use a variety of techniques to help patients reframe their thinking patterns and shift away from negativity.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an especially helpful tool that many therapists use to help overachievers find balance and decrease anxiety. CBT is a goal-oriented therapy that teaches patients how their behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are interconnected. It helps patients identify and replace negative thought patterns with more balanced views. It challenges the common belief that a person’s worth is tied to their ability to meet their own or others’ expectations.

Addressing the Effects of Trauma

Perfectionism can sometimes develop as a response to unresolved childhood trauma. Children who experience abuse, neglect, or other forms of trauma may grow up with deep-seated feelings of unworthiness. They may try to counteract these feelings by striving to achieve perfection in the things they do. They may mistakenly believe that they’re unworthy of love and acceptance unless they’re flawless in their performance and achievements.

A skilled online therapist can help patients confront underlying trauma and reframe their beliefs about worthiness, failure, and success. Therapists may use various techniques to help their patients identify core beliefs, develop self-compassion, and embrace the ordinariness of life. CBT, EMDR, and prolonged exposure therapy may help high achievers challenge and overcome negative beliefs and fears related to trauma-induced perfectionism.

Conclusion

Striving to be your best self can be a wonderful, fulfilling goal. However, if your quest for perfectionism is causing anxiety, fear, or self-loathing, it’s time for a change. Consider setting up an appointment with an online therapist. They can help you understand your motivations, deal with past traumas in a healthy way, and learn how to love yourself—imperfections and all. Virtual therapy can also help you achieve greater balance and clarity in your life.