Here in auto-saturated Los Angeles, the bumper sticker has always been a healthy form of self-expression. But in recent years, they’ve become far weirder than your average tourist-trap souvenir or presidential endorsement.
“This new wave of stickers,” writes Times contributor Renée Reizman, “is more concerned with cracking self-deprecating jokes or aligning with a niche fandom. There’s a bumper sticker for everybody. You can profess your love for John Cage, neon art or frogs. You can declare your other car is a poem, ask drivers not to stress out your dog or claim to be a silly goose.”
Artists, small-business owners and residents are creating highly specific bumper stickers to serve their social circles and earn some laughs. In my neck of the woods, I’ve clocked “ON A QUIET NIGHT YOU CAN HEAR MY BUICK RUST!” “DREAMS HAPPEN,” and my personal favorite, “I’D RATHER BE SLOWLY CONSUMED BY MOSS.” Alone, these stickers might make you smile, contemplate or drop your jaw. Together, they’re a mosaic of Angelenos’ collective conscious.
To celebrate the colorful little decals that keep Angelenos rubbernecking on the road, we asked locals and visitors to share their favorite bumper stickers. Here’s what they submitted.
THICC DADS WHO VAPE FOR CHRIST
Where did you see it? “Glendale Boulevard in Atwater Village.”
What’d you like about it? “Made me stop and laugh.”
— Robert Grenader, Los Feliz
2PMFaun
Where did you see it? ”101 Northbound near Melrose.”
What’d you like about it? “[It was] on a Honda Prelude. The composer Claude Debussy wrote a famous piece called “Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun. So … Prelude 2PMFaun. Definitely a classical musician driving that one.”
— Lee Bridges, Laurel Canyon
Ben Elder’s submission.
(Ben Elder)
YOUR HONOR STUDENT IS MERELY A PAWN IN MY POMERANIAN’S PLOT FOR WORLD DOMINATION
Where did you see it? “Foothill Boulevard, between Pennsylvania and Lowell [in] La Crescenta”
What’d you like about it? “Touché, all you obnoxious parents.”
— Ben Elder, La Crescenta
who needs poetry
Where did you see it? “North Westdale… On Barry, just south of Sardis (near a Whole Foods)”
What’d you like about it? “[It was] in plain black, on white, without punctuation. It is poetry!
— Dave Kopplin, West L.A.
MY KARMA RAN OVER YOUR DOGMA
What’d you like about it? “It says so much in so little text.”
— Russ Charvonia, Ventura
David Morrow’s submission.
(David Morrow)
MY SON WAS INMATE OF THE MONTH AT JACKSON COUNTY JAIL
Where did you see it? “In Lone Pine. The driver said he was from L.A.”
— David Morrow, Bend, Ore.
Make Orwell Fiction Again
Where did you see it? “On the 5, just south of Magic Mountain.”
What’d you like about it? “Made me laugh … and continue to worry. It appeals to the literate.”
— Theo Moreno, Cambria
Katie Purtill’s submission.
(Katie Purtill)
KEEP TOBIAS BLUE
Where did you see it? Jefferson and Lincoln [in] Playa Vista
What’d you like about it? “A niche spoof on a classic California bumper sticker.”
— Katie Purtill, Playa del Rey
I ❤️ DYING AND AGING
Where did you see it? “It was parked in a red zone in front of Maury’s Bagels in Silver Lake.”
What’d you like about it? “I think we can all relate to this a little bit. I also wonder what would happen to sales of Ozempic if we embraced this idea more fully.”
— Ted Walker, Silver Lake
Roger Pugliese’s submission.
(Roger Pugliese)
DON’T CHANGE TOPANGA LET TOPANGA CHANGE YOU
Where did you see it? “In Topanga.”
What’d you like about it? “First, the bumper sticker was thought of by the Topanga Assn. for a Scenic Community. This organization has been around since 1963. It was established to fight off overdevelopment in the Santa Monica Mountains, specifically in Topanga. We all in Topanga realize Topanga needs to be enjoyed by everyone. People move here because they see something that enriches their soul. We wanted to get the message out and remind all why they came here and [to] not bring with them the very thing they were trying to get away from. We want folks to breath deep and love Topanga for what it offers and not change it to suit a more urban environment.”
— Roger Pugliese, Topanga
Alexis Evanoff’s submission.
(Alexis Evanoff)
SURELY NOT EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING
Where did you see it? “I was in the Valley, about to make a left onto Ventura Boulevard. I go to school at CSUN, so I have the privilege of escaping the Westside regularly.”
What’d you like about it? “The song immediately came to my mind when I read it, and I laughed out loud in my car so loud, like a huge dork, and it was fantastic.”
— Alexis Evanoff, West L.A.
bestie, let me merge
Where did you see it? “Palmdale near Antelope Valley Mall”
What’d you like about it? “[It was] in a Lisa Frank type of font in soft pastel colors. I laughed out loud when I read it. The sweet tone is so passive-aggressive.”
— Polly Drown, Palmdale
I BRACHIATE FOR GIBBONS
Where did you see it? “West L.A. in heavy traffic.”
What’d you like about it? “Cleverness. You see so many stickers saying I Brake For Squirrels, or Garage Sales or whatever. Brachiation is using your arms to swing through the tree branches, like gibbons and spider monkeys.”
— Karen Hohenstein, West Hills
John Grimshaw’s submission.
(John Grimshaw)
Rugby Players Eat Their Dead
Where did you see it? “Seen at Foothill Ranch Library, Orange County.”
What’d you like about it? “Based on real events. College rugby team’s plane crashed in snowy Andes in 1972. Survivors had little food … they did have the dead bodies of family and friends. Of 45 people aboard, just 16 survived subfreezing nights until rescue 72 days later.”
— John Grimshaw, Lake Forest
This story originally appeared on LA Times
