In a sea of people, you might catch a glimpse of one. A tiny head barely peeking out of the top of a carrier. Or a small, scrunched face slumbering in a stroller. Sometimes, the magnificent creature will declare itself with a distinct cry and you know a fresh human baby is in your midst.
The natural habitat for a newborn baby is usually inside their home. But sometimes, you will spot one catching a matinee at the El Capitan Theatre.
That’s where Rob Hatch-Miller and his wife, Puloma Basu, took their newborn daughter the week she was born. It was 2017 and the first-time parents celebrated Hatch-Miller’s birthday with a baby-friendly showing of “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.” At the baby-friendly screenings — which ended at the El Capitan but are still offered at Alamo Drafthouse — babies were allowed to wail over the lowered movie volume.
For the new family of three, the outing was a respite before the arrival of the holidays and jubilant out-of-town relatives. The couple checked in with their pediatrician, who reminded them to feed the baby every two to three hours but otherwise wasn’t worried, said Basu, 44.
In the dimly lit theater, while Kylo Ren led an onscreen assault on the Resistance, their 6-day-old baby slept the whole time.
“It was a great birthday,” said Hatch-Miller, 43, who often advises expectant friends to take their babies into the greater world sooner than later. “You’re going to have a couple years where it’s really complicated to go out for a meal or just go see a matinee movie. Do it now while they’re small.”
Throughout Los Angeles, newborns make appearances at movie theaters, Costco, Starbucks and even fine-dining restaurants. While doctors recommend that newborns — especially during the first month of life — be kept away from crowded spaces to protect their health, not all parents feel the need to be so cautious.
The question about the ideal age to take a newborn into public spaces is raised again and again online by anxious new parents trying to balance their desires to protect and find normalcy. Is a quick trip to the grocery store forbidden? And if you go, is the employee at checkout yawning because of fatigue or the bubonic plague?
Parenthood is always complicated, but especially so at the beginning. So we talked to doctors and parents who’ve been there about how to navigate bringing a fresh baby into the wild.
If anything, avoid crowds the first month
A baby’s first month of life is the neonatal period, a vulnerable time because of their immature immune system.
“This is the time to avoid crowds,” especially crowded indoor spaces, said Dr. Robert C. Hamilton, a Santa Monica-based pediatrician and author of “7 Secrets of the Newborn.”
A fever in the first month could be a sign of a major infection, which means hospitalization, said Dr. Colleen Kraft, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and past president of the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Babies in the neonatal period are unimmunized. The first go-around of vaccines is usually complete when a baby is 2 months old.
“At 2 months of age, you can become a little more liberal in taking your child out into spaces where there are more people,” said Hamilton.
Before you go anywhere with a newborn, said Kraft, ask yourself: Is it peak flu season like the one that swamped California? If so, consider staying home.
The great outdoors is fine
Babies can be out in nature on their first day of life. Hamilton tells new parents they can walk home from the hospital if they so choose. “I don’t have too many takers on that,” he said.
Beaches, parks and neighborhood strolls are all OK too.
But Vivien Kotler, mom of two, cautions to not read too far into how you perceive others handling their babies out in the wild. She lives in a house that faces Silver Lake Boulevard and the reservoir loop — a favorite stroll for new parents.
Her window is like a real-life, highly curated Instagram feed. Each time before both her children — Pallas and Blaise, now 9 and 6 years old — were born, she remembers seeing moms who attended her prenatal yoga class one week and then were walking the loop with their newborns the next. “You see these people who seem effortlessly walking around doing normal things with their babies neatly wrapped into them or in the stroller,” said Kotler, 48. “And so, you’re thinking, ‘OK, that is what normal is.’”
Five days after giving birth to Pallas, Kotler went to a restaurant with her. It started out fine. Then Pallas cried and the outing spiraled into a mess. In hindsight, Kotler said she was chasing an image of being out and about that didn’t quite align with her values.
When her second child was born, she decided to let go of aspirational standards and focus on her relationship with her newborn — at home.
“You go to Legoland or Disneyland and you see these brand-new parents with babies who can barely see, and it’s like, you guys are going to have to do this for the next 10 years,” said Kotler. “You don’t have to start right as soon as the baby comes out.”
When craving normalcy
Life with a new baby can feel very busy.
“But it’s also kind of under-stimulating,” said Franziska Reff, a psychologist who practices in Atwater Village and runs a virtual support group for new moms. “Your social side and your intellectual side aren’t being utilized in the same way.”
For parents who choose to bring their newborn on outings — even a walk or a doughnut run — the experience can feel like a microdose of self-identity, said Reff.
Before their daughter, Alaya, was born, Jessica Ettman and her husband, J.D. Plotnick, dined out frequently. Both have backgrounds in the restaurant industry. Their initial intention was to pause their nightlife and nest with their newborn at home.
But when Alaya was not yet 3 weeks old, they took her to a family wedding. A few weeks later, a reservation at Camélia in the Arts District presented itself like manna from heaven. Alaya had already been out at the wedding, so they decided to give fine dining a try.
“We were at dinner for a couple hours, and it was really great,” said Ettman, 43. “Then I was like, ‘Let’s do it again.’”
Since then, Alaya, now 4 months old, has been to some of the best restaurants in the city. At Chi Spacca, the wait staff borrowed a chair with a back from Osteria Mozza next door so Ettman could feel more comfortable holding and nursing Alaya.
Every dining experience with the baby is tiring — equal parts nice and not worth it, said Ettman. Especially unpleasant: changing diapers in dimly lit bathroom stalls without changing tables after explosive newborn poops. But she always feels a sense of accomplishment at the end.
“It makes me feel like a super mom,” Ettman said. “I can bring my baby. I could see my friends. I can go anywhere I want to go and not feel self-conscious.”
Do experts follow their own recommendations?
Although he cannot recommend parents take a newborn (especially during the first month) into crowded spaces, Hamilton said there are ways to mitigate risk. Dine alfresco, he said. If that’s not an option, go to a corner table for an earlier reservation or a matinee movie before the crowds arrive.
Reff added there may be room for personal preference within doctor recommendations.
“I counsel a lot of parents to think about what works for you as a person and what works for you as a family because it’s about your risk tolerance,” she said. While living on the East Coast, she toted her own newborn on public transit.
“That just seemed normal to us,” said Reff.
This raises the question: Do doctors follow their own recommendations?
Yes, said Kraft, who has three children. She kept them at home as much as possible in their newborn days.
Hamilton paused to reflect on the question.
“We have six kids, OK,” he said. “We used common sense, but we were also surrounded by all these kids. We survived. They all survived. They’re all adults. They’re all taxpaying people.”
This story originally appeared on LA Times
