The summer of 2022 was a difficult time for Kim Kardashian as she dealt with her split from Pete Davidson and weeks of public outbursts from her ex-husband, Kanye West. The season 3 premiere of The Kardashians documented Kim as she dealt with the “stress” of what she was going through at the time. “I spent my whole morning having an anxiety attack,” she vented to her mom, Kris Jenner. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe all day. you know when you’re just on the verge of tears and it feels like you’re about to cry? That’s how I felt all day.”
Kim pointed out that she never bad mouths Kanye in the media, despite everything negative that he’s said about her since their 2021 split. “I think at this point I just assume that everything I text Kanye is going to be put on the Internet,” Kim admitted. “I think I can handle anything. I just get really heartbroken for my mom that she has to deal with so much from different sides and people coming at her.” Kris assured Kim that it’s not on her to control Kanye. “He’s doing this to himself,” she insisted.
Kim choked back tears as she discussed Kanye publicly bringing up her past sex tape with Ray J again and again. “Thanks for reminding people once again,” she said. “All of his shenanigans — I don’t even know what the f*** to call it — is going to be far more damaging to the kids one day than my sex tape ever will be. And I have to sit here and not say anything ever because I know one day I will appreciate that.” Shortly after this was filmed, Kanye made headlines for wearing a “White Lives Matter” shirt in public. He also went on a public anti-Semitic rant, leading to major backlash and causing him to be dropped from many of his partnerships.
Kris let her daughter get it out, and Kim started crying as she revealed how much of a front she puts on for the four kids that she shares with Kanye. “S*** could be going down and I get in the car and the kids want to blast dad’s music and I’m like, ‘He’s the best, of course!’” she continued. “And I put it on and we’re singing along and inside I’m dying. I will be his biggest cheerleader to them forever. One day they’ll see for themselves [what he’s done] and I’ll answer whatever they want me to. It’s a lot. The one who’s supposed to protect me and still does interviews saying he’s my biggest protector is the one that’s hurting me the most.”
Over the years, Kanye has feuded with Drake back and forth, as well, even accusing the rapper of hooking up with Kim. Kim referenced this drama in her breakdown. “He was the one that started a rumor that said I was hooking up with Drake,” she pointed out. “Our whole marriage he accused me of that publicly. So the person that’s supposed to protect me the most is going to publicly accuse me of having an affair our whole marriage? I really can’t wrap my head around how he thinks he’s a protector.”
In a confessional, Kim also revealed that Kanye will sometimes ask her if he can have “approval” over what she says about him on the reality show. “I’m like, ‘You just talked about me in this song and this interview and you didn’t ask my permission!’” she pointed out. “And I never say anything bad or negative. If I say I’m exhausted, I feel guilty about that. I am f****** exhausted!”
Kim admitted that she wanted to be able to “lose it just once,” but said she could never do that because other people around her never “have their s*** together.” She added, “I don’t want to be part of this narrative. Like when is it going to end? It never will. I’m stuck with this for the rest of my life.” By the end of the discussion, Kim was breaking down once again, and asked the producers to move onto a different topic. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she shared.
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This story originally appeared on Hollywoodlife