I’m going through a lot, and right now I’m at a crucial point where I need to make the right decision — because if I don’t, I will be financially destroyed. My problem is twofold.
The first part: About three years ago, I married a person who was nothing short of evil. During that time, I purchased a duplex. I asked him to sign a statement saying it’s my sole and separate property. This was notarized. It’s an actual document that was required and part of the package of papers I signed when I purchased my home. He is not on the loan and he’s not on the title. Fast forward a year later: I have filed for divorce, but I have not served him papers yet because he’s threatening to try to take my house and to get alimony.
The second part: When I purchased my duplex, I rented it out. My tenant has not paid a dime since December 2021. He has destroyed the home, broken the windows and door and put more than 100 holes in the wall. He also stole my mail, which was going to the other unit in the duplex, and has been committing credit-card fraud, opening bank accounts in my name, changing information (my address, phone number and email) on my existing accounts and racking up charges, and making payments in my name. I have filed identity-theft reports with the police. I’ve called all the credit bureaus. I have called my credit-card companies.
My credit score is 512 because of the fraud and because I fell behind on my mortgage, as my tenant was not paying rent. My duplex was at a point where it was in foreclosure, but I saved it through loss mitigation, and I have a payment due June 1. Ideally, I would want to keep the house and rent it to a tenant with a Section 8 housing voucher because it’s guaranteed rent, but I think I’m going to be forced to sell — which is not all bad, as I bought the house two years ago for $560,000 and now it’s worth $900,000. But I would need to purchase something else or pay more tax on the sale. But there’s the rub: I won’t qualify for a new mortgage due to my low credit score.
I’m sorry for rambling. I’ve been a single mother since I was 15 years old. And I was so proud that I was able to purchase something in Southern California. That wasn’t easy to do, but I’m afraid the stupid decisions I’ve made are going to turn everything upside down, and all my hard work is going to go to waste.
Single Mother, Wife & Landlord
Dear Mother, Wife & Landlord,
All of your hard work will not go to waste. Take action on your husband and your tenant. Take a breather for everything else.
If a tenant does not pay their rent and breaks the terms of their contract, you can file papers to evict them. Most pandemic-era eviction moratoriums have ended. For instance, Los Angeles County protections ended on March 31, 2023. And as I told this letter writer, identity theft is fraud. You’ve done all the right things: You’ve filed a police report, contacted the credit-card companies and (I hope) frozen your credit with the major bureaus.
You should take the same course of action regarding your husband. You should not be held hostage by his attempts at bullying, misinformation or coercive control. Just because he says something and even believes it does not make it true. He is not on the loan or the title of your house. A divorce lawyer can provide you with more expertise than a bitter soon-to-be-former husband. File those divorce papers.
It’s not a given that you would have to pay your husband alimony upon divorcing him. “When determining alimony payments, a family court will consider the length of the marriage,” according to Renkin + Yip family law firm. “In California, spousal support may be paid for up to half the length of a marriage that lasts 10 years or less. Unions that lasted longer than 10 years are considered ‘long term,’ and no specific duration will apply.”
“Your credit score will eventually recover, and this could be the gods’ way of telling you to wait before making a big decision. ”
Evict your tenant and serve your husband with divorce papers before you decide what to do with your house. If you buy another home, you won’t get the same interest rate as you got in 2020 or 2021. That’s going to add a significant amount to your monthly mortgage payment, even if you purchase a cheaper property. Your low credit score will also make a mortgage more expensive.
There are programs out there for low-income home buyers. Bank of America’s
BAC,
Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America (NACA), for instance, is designed to help working Americans buy a home with no down payment, closing costs, fees or strict credit requirements. Obviously, you will have a downpayment from the sale of your current home, but there are options out there for people in a similar situation to you. Your credit score will eventually recover, and this could be the gods’ way of telling you to wait before making a big decision.
Remember that psychologists and financial advisers often recommend that people don’t make big decisions within a year of a major life event, such as the death of a family member or divorce. You’ve been a single mother since your teenage years, and you have navigated marriage, bad tenants and identity theft. There’s not much more life can throw at you to test your resolve. That’s the good news.
You didn’t make stupid decisions. You made decisions in good faith. You have already shown that you are strong. Stay the course under pressure. Don’t sell your home in a panic or do anything out of fear or anxiety. Financial decisions are often emotional ones. In the meantime, please seek out trusted friends and family — and lawyers and qualified advisers — for support. You may be surprised by how many people care, and are rooting for you. Stay in touch, and let me know how you get on.
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.
Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas.
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