[Warning: The following contains MAJOR spoilers for the Love Is Blind Season 6 finale.]
I have a hard time believing that anyone who says no at the Love Is Blind altar is making a “game-time decision.” Whether they’re in denial about it or not, I think they know what they’re going to say as they walk down that aisle. The shock of the rejection, for me, comes from the fact that they let the wedding happen at all. And what’s even more shocking is the truth these people tell the cameras that they won’t reveal to their betrothed. Who can’t handle the truth: the one who’s not being told it, or the one who can’t say it to their partner’s face?
This happens often on Love Is Blind. We saw it in Season 4 when Paul jilted Micah at the altar. He was kind to her after the fact, but told the cameras he didn’t think she would be a good mother. We never saw him express that concern until this final moment. It happened again in the Love Is Blind Season 6 finale, when Clay said “I don’t” to marriage with A.D. In a jaw-dropping confessional interview, Clay told the cameras that he didn’t love A.D. enough to marry her and that she didn’t make enough money. In her bridal suite, Clay was tender and loving and said he still wanted to be with her — he just couldn’t get over his fears of marriage. I’d like to believe that Clay’s true feelings were the ones shared with A.D. and that his confessional interview was spoken out of fear. Whatever the truth is, Clay’s rejection led to a scene with his parents that is the best scene Love Is Blind has ever delivered.
All season long, Clay expressed his fears of not being enough for marriage and that marriage is always bound to fail. His fears are deeply rooted in childhood trauma from witnessing his father cheat on his mother and their subsequent divorce. His parents, Rita and Trevor, were together for 24 years, but as Clay revealed, Trevor cheated on Rita often throughout the marriage. He would often bring the young Clay with him when he would meet with the other women. This created core wounds for Clay, wounds that he tried to work through in the series. A.D. was compassionate on this front, but was justifiably concerned by him constantly saying that he feared he would cheat.
Outside of A.D., no one was more saddened by Clay’s decision than his mother, Rita. We don’t often get Love Is Blind parent reactions where their adult children aren’t present. When the reality dating show kept the cameras rolling on this deep conversation with Rita and Trevor, my eyes were glued to the screen. For the first time in the show’s run, a participants’ parents spoke one-on-one about how their example of marriage set the stage for their child’s experience in this experiment.
Rita told her ex-husband that their son “struggles with a marriage,” which was apparently news to Trevor. “Is it sacred? Do you honor?” Rita said. She was poised but solemn when she said, “All of those emotions and twisted feelings, he took that to the altar. And a lot of that stems from things that you have to explain and apologize. Don’t make excuses; just apologize so that closure can be had.”
Trevor earnestly listened, and then tried to explain how his own lack of a father figure informed his parenting when Clay was younger. The generational trauma shared between this father and son was an astounding sight to see in a reality dating series. It became even more captivating when Rita deflected Trevor’s attempt to obfuscate responsibility. The problem isn’t A.D., as Trevor implied when saying Clay needed to “meet somebody like his mom.” “You met me, but you wasn’t good to me,” Rita replied.
Watching the parents of someone who said “I don’t” on their wedding day evaluate their part in that decision was unforgettable TV. Kudos to Rita and Trevor for allowing this deeply personal moment to be filmed. Whether this scene is reviewed in the upcoming Love Is Blind Season 6 reunion or not, I imagine this scene would be life-changing for Clay to see, because sadly, it’s not every day that parents admit how their actions in our childhoods impact the present.
Love Is Blind, Season 6 Reunion Special, Wednesday, March 13, Netflix
This story originally appeared on TV Insider
