When Donald Trump touches down in London next week, he will be greeted by the best of Britain.
Dinner with the king, a golden carriage and all the impossible pomp that the royal family make look so effortless.
A far cry from the welcome Graham Linehan received last week when the comedian stepped off a flight from Texas.
Seized by five heavily armed cops, the Irishman was banged up in a cell over a joke he had posted on X while 5,100 miles away back in Arizona.
Linehan’s thought crime? Advice on what to do if transwomen refuse to leave female changing rooms: “punch him in the balls.”
Chillingly this was not a joke cracked on British soil nor hosted on a British server, yet somehow within the scope of Britain’s Brave New World as the self-appointed global internet policeman.
‘Let’s see what happens’
The sorry episode made a mockery of Prime Minister Keir Starmer, who told President Trump in Scotland in July: “We’ve had free speech for a very, very long time in the UK — and it will last for a very, very long time.”
Meanwhile, the UK online regulator Ofcom is on a legal collision course with US firms it claims — with imperious but impractical bluster — fall under its remit to prosecute.
So it comes as no surprise that Linehan is considering claiming asylum here in the US.
The internet is littered with videos of busybody cops up and down Britain knocking on doors over social media posts.
Even journalists have been snared by the sinister spread of “Non Crime Hate Incidents,” as poorly drafted laws like the Online Safety Act create a tangled web ripe for lawfare. It’s been a gift to the political left.
Some 13,000 of these NCHIs were dished out in 2023 alone, prompting firebrand Nigel Farage to tell Congress last week Britain is on a slippery slope to North Korea.
But the leader of the surging Reform UK party is far from alone in hoping a critical friend might point out that Keir Starmer’s words ring hollow when doors are kicked not for muggers, rapists and thieves but keyboard warriors.
Thankfully, it has not gone unnoticed by an administration with a genuine fondness for the old country, with Trump warning “strange things are happening over there, they are cracking down and surprisingly so.” He told a tech dinner last week: “I’ve spoken to the PM and, let’s see what happens.”
But it feels like that conversation may need to be repeated next week in London.
And many Brits will be hoping it’s far from the only item on the agenda behind the scenes.
While things will look spectacular for next week’s unprecedented second state visit, as troops line the festooned streets, all is not well in Britain.
Elected within months of each other with thumping victories, Liberal Starmer and hardliner Trump have cut an unlikely alliance with the invitation brandished with great fanfare in the Oval Office.
But their records in office tell a very different story.
While Trump ground illegal immigration on the southern border to a halt, another 1,097 migrants crossed the English Channel on Saturday in small boats.
About 30,000 mostly fighting-age men have now landed this year, up 37% and almost half the size of the British Army.
Nice hotels and preloaded debit cards await new arrivals, who flout black market rules, some taking jobs within hours of landing.
The US economy is growing almost three times the rate of Britain’s, where inflation is ticking back up and taxes are already at the highest level in peacetime history.
Oil wells and fracking sites are being concreted over in a quasi-religious drive to net zero by 2050, while laws on building onshore wind farms have been relaxed as Starmer appeases his left flank.
Hapless efforts to kick-start growth are hampered by an ever-growing mountain of red tape directly linked to this arbitrary carbon neutral target.
Harsh comparison
Bonds are rising across the West, but Britain is always the outlier as markets nervously eye Starmer’s inability to pass even the smallest reductions in spending and benefit handouts despite what on paper should be a commanding majority in Parliament.
Debt interest payments are twice the entire defense budget.
Meanwhile, traditional allies like Israel are squeezed, and Starmer is to recognize a Palestinian state at the United Nations as millions of Muslim voters desert his electoral coalition.
Tourism has been hit by overspilling street crime in London, while the White House is at least trying to do something about it in Washington, DC.
So no surprise to see Starmer sink to a new ratings low of -59% last weekend, while President Trump topped +55%.
The pair have plenty to discuss in London, and unless he’s careful, Sir Keir may well see Britain rather than Canada as the president’s new 51st state target . . .
“Harry Cole Saves the West” launches this week on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.
This story originally appeared on NYPost
