Chicago Med Delivers Never Have I Ever Easter Egg — Best TV Quotes

Election Day has come and gone, but TVLine is forever casting our votes for the best TV dialogue in Quotes of the Week. 

In the column below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including “St. Denis Medical,” “The Neighborhood,” “Selling Sunset” and “Crutch.” 

Also featured in this week’s roundup: Mary Cosby worries about poor gastrointestinal health on “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” “Chicago Med” drops a “Never Have I Ever” Easter egg and “Happy’s Place” channels Reba Hart. Plus, we’ve got a double dose of “Georgie & Mandy’s First Marriage.”

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Rebecca Luther, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)

“If someone told me my husband was making out with someone and farting, I don’t know which one I’d be more devastated about. I mean, it’s just embarrassing. And then what’s wrong with his intestines? Why is he farting? Oh my god. Something’s wrong.”

Mary has her priorities straight: Gastrointestinal health always comes before fidelity

“Must be the brass balls.”

A cocky Dwight (Sylvester Stallone) jokes with a security guard after he sets off a metal detector

“It’s ‘Gay’s Anatomy’ up in here, and I am fully invested.”

Scotty (Al Calderon) doesn’t hide his enthusiasm for the idea of Drs. Wolf and Nichols rekindling their relationship

“Wait, you used to be an actor, right?”

“Yeah, you know, back in the day.”

“Yeah, on that show with the girl with the dead dad who’s desperate to lose her virginity to you? She keeps fantasizing about you ripping off your shirt… You still got those sweet abs?”

“Chicago Med” stages a stealth crossover with “Never Have I Ever” courtesy of Frost (Darren Barnet)

“Did the paramedics bring Brigitte Bardot in the ambulance with Lexi?”

“The actress?”

“No, Lexi’s bunny — named after a Chappell Roan song.”

A patient schools Frost on the current cultural relevance of Brigitte Bardot

“Seems to me like you’re showing up at my door out of nowhere to shoot the breeze about what a bum I was. You’re talking to a different guy, Mason. I ain’t that same kid no more. And I’ll tell you one more thing: You look old!”

“What?”

“20 years, I look great. You look like a damn potato.”

Franks (Kyle Schmid) becomes childish while reuniting with his estranged brother 

“Frontier Airlines wants me to get a backup ticket? Respectfully, you’re the backup ticket.”

“Can I offer a medical opinion? That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Stephens (Peter Mark Kendall) doesn’t bother using clinical terminology while viewing a giant hairball removed from a patient

“You know, every time I see him, I can’t help but think about how much he looks like your brother Curtis.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t see it.”

Calvin (Cedric the Entertainer) is blind to cousin Crutch’s (Tracy Morgan) resemblance to Curtis (Tracy Morgan)

“The leading cause of injury among dads-to-be is elaborate gender reveals. That’s not a real statistic, but it does feel that way.” 

“All this for a baby? Even for the pope, all they do is puff out a little white smoke.”

Alex (Allison Tolman) and Ron (David Alan Grier) can hardly hide their judgment when an expectant dad is admitted to St. Denis for gender reveal pyrotechnics gone awry

“That’s… quite a thing. Reminds me of Darlene Shackleford — sweet old lady, sang in the choir, had epilepsy.”

For Pastor Jeff (Matt Hobby), McAllister Auto & Tire’s new inflatable flailing tube man brings to mind a beloved congregant

“I know you’re lying….”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“You have a tell, Georgie.”

“I do not.”

“You get extra country when you’re hiding something.”

“Oh, that’s a whole heap of hogwash!”

Silly Georgie (Montana Jordan), inadvertently proving Mandy’s (Emily Osment) point

“I can’t. I cannot put you on my show.” 

“Charlie Rose was always happy to have me.”

“In the ’90s. And I don’t think Charlie Rose is a very compelling character witness these days.”

Alex (Jennifer Aniston) has very good reasons why her father Martin (Jeremy Irons) shouldn’t appear on TMS to plead his case

“All you’ve gotta do is make sure your phone and TV are in sync.”

“NSYNC? I still got beef with Justin Timberlake after he did Janet Jackson dirty.”

Crutch (Tracy Morgan) may be technologically clueless, but at least he’s on the right side of pop culture history

“I can’t break a promise.”

“And because you won’t makes you a truly wonderful man.”

“Thank you.”

“It also makes you one of the biggest moe-rons that ever walked the face of the Earth.”

Bobbie (Reba McEntire) channels her innie Reba Hart while confronting Emmett (Rex Linn)

“A ‘Clue’ dinner party — that might be the only dinner party I’d invite Nicole to, because someone has to get murdered.”

“Ooh, OK! I would do the honors!”

Chrishell and Emma get dark about their mutual nemesis — and invoke a classic board game — while touring an old-timey house